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KPSmistr
Diktator
Pridružen/-a: 21.01. 2006, 10:41
Prispevkov: 664
Kraj: Ljubljana
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 Objavljeno: 24 Nov 2006 23:50 Naslov sporočila: 46 things girls cannot do! |
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46 things a girl can't do
1 Know anything about a car except its colour
2 Understand a film plot
3 Go 24 hours without sending a text message
4 Lift
5 Throw
6 Run
7 Park
8 Read a map
9 Rob a bank
10 Sit still
11 Tell a joke
12 Play pool
13 Pay for dinner
14 Eat a kebab while walking
15 Argue without shouting
16 Get told off without crying
17 Understand fruit machines
18 Walk past a shoe shop
19 Make a decent bacon sandwich
20 Not comment on strangers clothes
21 Use small amounts of toilet paper
22 Let you sleep with a hang over
23 Drink a pint gracefully
24 Get a round in
25 Throw a punch
26 Do magic
27 Like your friends
28 Eat a really hot curry
29 Get to the point
30 Buy plain envelopes
31 Take less than 20 minutes in the toilet
32 Sit in a room for 5 minutes without saying " I'm Cold "
33 shopping without telephoning 20 friends
34 Avoid credit card debt
35 Dive into a pool
36 Assemble furniture
37 Set a video recorder
38 Not try change you
39 Watch a war film
40 Understand why flirting results in violence
41 Spend a day by themselves
42 Go to the toilet by themselves
43 Buy a purse that fits in your pocket
44 Choose a video quickly
45 Fart
46 Get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the above |
_________________
Stan: Hey, guys. Do you know where I can find the clitoris?
Kyle: The what?
Cartman: What, is that like finding Jesus or something? |
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tami
Brigadir
Pridružen/-a: 27.01. 2006, 12:15
Prispevkov: 158
Kraj: gorenjska
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| Objavljeno: 03 Dec 2006 14:56 Naslov sporočila: |
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Vegos
Generalmajor
Pridružen/-a: 04.04. 2006, 23:03
Prispevkov: 274
Kraj: Ljubljana, večinoma
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| Objavljeno: 04 Dec 2006 16:12 Naslov sporočila: |
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Potem beri trditev 46 
_________________
"And on the sixth day God created man. By the seventh day He´d realised his mistake. And ´BUGGER!´ was the word."
~Intro v eno flash igro |
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DelBoy
Partizan
Pridružen/-a: 22.02. 2006, 11:20
Prispevkov: 472
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| Objavljeno: 04 Dec 2006 16:24 Naslov sporočila: |
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pa še ena
Dear Alcohol,
First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holidays, hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions.
While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:
1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is
important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance; I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.
4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions a re taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, (aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets.
In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
Thank you,
Your Biggest Fan
P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK :
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing |
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